The Things You Miss

My college roommate Molly gave me a card when I left New York. In it, she predicted not just where I would be 26 months from now—finishing up my Peace Corps service and heading on a trip through Eastern Africa—but where our friends and classmates would find themselves, too.

Ilana, of course, will be married. Maybe Darby will have a baby and Dan will probably be engaged. Molly will be attending some top-tier grad school and Alisa will be a doctor.

We will finally be grown up.

It’s exciting to think about where the next two years will take us and what sort of adventures I’ll find in Namibia. But as I struggle (quite literally) to pack my bags, tie up loose ends, and say goodbye to my family, I’m reminded of all that I’ll be missing here, too.

My cousin Paul just got engaged and he’ll get married next October. Once Lilly and Claire learn to walk, they’ll be running circles around my cousins. And the newest addition to our extended family, baby Julian, will be talking by the time I return. He’ll have no idea who I am.

I’ve been thinking about the Peace Corps since I graduated from NYU. And now, four years later, after eighteen months of paperwork, interviews and doctors appointments, my departure date is almost here. I’m not anxious or afraid, just excited and ready. Really ready.

But I’m also a little sad. Sad because of what I’ll miss: the big life events, face time with family and holidays at home. Still, I can’t help but think I’d be missing out on more if I’d decided to stay here, instead of finding out what it really feels like to get sand in my shoes.