Dear Namibia ...

There are a lot of funny (and at times crazy) things about adjusting to life here in Namibia. And while they can be difficult to capture and even harder to explain, I thought this did a pretty good job of outlining the insanity that is life as a PCV in an unfamiliar land.

It’s not original material (I swiped it from a member of CATJAR) but I thought it was definitely worth sharing—even if it's for nothing more than a good laugh.

Dear Hot Water,
Where are youuuu? I miss you. Did I upset you somehow? Did I not call enough? Am I spending too much time with Cold Water? Please believe me when I say Cold Water means nothing to me compared to you.
Did I not give you enough attention? Maybe I didn’t say it enough when we were together. But I love you. More than you’ll ever know.
Maybe you could drop in for a visit sometime soon? Anytime you want. No invitation necessary. Surprise me. For the love of God, please come back.
Let’s get back together. I promise I’ll treat you right, baby.
Faithfully yours,
-R

Dear Jar of Mayo In My Fridge,
I wish I had noticed you expired THREE YEARS AGO before I mixed you with my (very expensive) tuna. I’m going to teach you a lesson… Who are we kidding? We both know I can’t afford to throw you away. You win again, Mayonnaise, you win again.
Maybe if I write “TANGY” above your label, I can trick myself into thinking you’re supposed to taste like that.
Duped again,
-R

Dear Knorr's Mutton and Vegetable Soup Packet,
I made you as a sauce to put over my leftover pasta. That was about two hours ago. And I still want to vom. I guess it's my fault really. I didn't read the signs. Sign number one: You're powdered soup. Sign number two: You're mutton flavored. Sign number three: I bought you from the same store as my "tangy" mayo.
That's the last time I'm going to think to myself "You should be more adventurous" in a grocery store.
Ugh,
-R

Dear Mosiquito that ALWAYS manages to get into my net,
I just don’t understand how it’s possible. The net is closed allll day and alll night long. Are you a magical mosquito? Teach me your ways.
And then kill yourself. Because you keep me awake with paranoia all night long. Not to mention that awful buzzing.
Dreaming of you. Jerk,
-R

Dear Electricity,
My, my, my. Aren’t we testy? At first I thought you only went out after a good, heavy rain. That made a lot of sense to me. Then it so happens, you also turn off when it’s too windy. Ok, that’s a little temperamental, but I’ll let it be. But come on, man, what’s going on with you today? Is it too sunny out for you or something? Is it just too nice out to function? Did you think to yourself, “It’s really gorgeous out today. To hell with it, I’m going to take the day off!” ? Well let me tell you something, Mister, you take enough vacations as it is. Get back here.
Peeved,
-R

Dear Male Colleague/Neighbor,
No, my hammock is NOT big enough for us to spoon in.
You get creepier every day,
-R

Dear 7-hour time difference,
You suck.
Eloquently yours,
R